I am hopelessly addicted to celebrity gossip. Whenever I get stressed out or can’t think clearly, I head over to Hollywood to see what’s going on. It calms my nerves, to know how much more ridiculous other people’s lives are than my own. So you can imagine how surprised, when I found out Heidi Montag, a reality television “star” (star should probably be put in double quotes), moved to Costa Rica the same day I did! This very notion sent my head spinning. Could it be that there has been some kind of weird reversal of the Universe? Is Hollywood now following me as hotly as I was following them?
photo credit tabloidy.com
If this is the case, then I better use my new found fame wisely. Because I’m a magnanimous celebrity, a cross between Bono and Oprah, I’ll extend my New Teacher Coaching services to Heidi Montag free of charge. (You really do need to honor fans that stalk you all the way to Costa Rica.) If Heidi was a client of mine here is what I’d tell her:
1. Get clarity in your personal relationships.
Decide if you are going to divorce Spencer or not. This seems to be taking up a lot of your energy and distracting you from work. Relationship issues take up the majority of mind space. It’s best to spend the necessary time to clean them up, then let relationship drama drag you down for months on end.
2. Create a support network.
I don’t know if you have realized this, but the tabloids aren’t the best people to help you solve your problems. I suggest you create a network of mentors who can help you with different areas of your life. To start, find a person to help you with career issues and one to help you with personal issues. Ideally you do not work for any of these mentors. They are completely separate from your public life.
3. Understand your gifts and emphasize them in all your pursuits.
Heidi, I think a couple of years ago you tried to do a music video. Don’t get me wrong, I know you tried your best, but I don’t think singing is your greatest gift. If you can’t figure out what your gifts are, ask your closest friends and family to help you out. Once you have a list of your gifts, determine how you can infuse everything you do with them.
4. Set one short-term goal you can achieve in two weeks.
Based on you multiple plastic surgeries and that overbearing crystal carrying husband you picked, it’s safe to assume that you are not feeling extremely confident. By setting a short-term goal, you’ll start to gain confidences in your abilities.
5. Dress how you want to be perceived.
I don’t know what your goals are; so I may be off here. But, you are kind of putting off that dumb blonde Barbie vibe. Find some clothing that allows you to be attractive and be taken seriously. I’d recommend something that covers at least 95% of your breasts.
Even if you aren’t hot mess like our friend Heidi…Why not try a few of these suggestions and let me know how it goes.
Okay, I’ve no idea who Ms Montag is but still I’m gonna go out on a limb here and disagree with you entirely that she should cover up 95% of her breasts.
Maybe 50% but why 95%… I mean what is it, really, about culture and a world that thinks that it’s okay to watch soft porn in a movie theatre with friends but if a woman goes into a classroom then she’s gotta 95% cover up?
Is the product of religion? Those are simply her – why should she hide herself so that other people can feel differently about who she is… why should her genetics get in the way of her brain (and like I said, no idea who she is, but do find it annoying the assumption that she may not have a brain if she sports more than a B cup…)
Like I said, way out on a limb, just get totally fed up with these culturally imposed ideals which don’t make any sense.
The recommendation was based on what is considered “appropriate” in public schools in the majority of the United States. Showing 50% of your breast probably wouldn’t fly in most schools. Though dress code, especially in private schools, varies from place to place. (I once visited a school in the United States that allowed its students to be topless.) In general, I recommend that teachers wear clothing that makes them feel comfortable and confident. At the same time, it is important that a teacher’s clothing does not distract the students from the subject at hand. If Miss Montag were able to teach her subject matter effectively in her usual bikini uniform, I say, “more power to her.”
So the thing is really, if in the States students would be more focused on the bikini, is it because it has become culturally inappropriate (based on it protestant and puritantical history and values -hypocritical really when one sees the culture it sends out to the world in its art forms including reality TV) to be a woman in all the glory of being a woman?
Why can one only be an effective educator if one is dressed as a man?